This is a guest post from Bob who writes for about getting out of debt, budgeting, making money, and more at ChristianPF.com. Feel free to download his free eBook – The CPF Guide to Getting out of Debt.
Seeking acceptance by trying to impress others
I remember when I was 10 years old and I tight-rolled my pants (see image to the right) because my friends did – don’t laugh. I didn’t really think that much about whether it was a good idea or not. Or even if I would look back some years later and laugh. I pretty much just did it because everyone around me was doing it.
I can say the same thing with buying an Adidas jacket and about 300 other things from when I was in grade school. Thinking back, I know much I longed to be accepted by those around me. I wanted their approval and I did everything in my power to avoid not fitting in – even if it meant tight-rolling my pants!
“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)
The funny thing is that even as we grow older, it can be easy to succumb to those same desires to impress others. Except for most adults this now means spending an extra $20,000 they don’t have to buy a little bit nicer car than the neighbors. This dysfunction even has a name – “Keeping up with the Joneses“.
Trying to impress others can be very expensive!
My church is located between two main roads and so often times cars will pass through to get from one road to the next. The complex is fairly large, so it is probably about 400-500 yards between the two main roads.
Well, not too many months ago, there was a pickup football game going on at our soccer field at church. While they were playing a guy and his young son pulled in to pass from the one road to the next. They probably would have gone unnoticed, except he was driving a $250,000 Lamborghini. So of course, the football game came to a halt as everyone stared at the car that cost more than many of their houses. They guy driving noticed all the onlookers and decided to put on a little show for the spectators by showing them what the car could do.
I am not sure if the driver had passed through before, but there are quite a few sharp turns, so driving anything over 25 mph probably isn’t safe. As you can probably guess, the driver slammed on the gas and looked really cool for about 2 seconds until he slammed into a curb that catapulted the car about 3 feet in the air. Thankfully the driver and his young son were safe, but the car wasn’t so lucky.
Being a guy I understand the male ego thing a little bit, and I am sure that had a part to play in his wanting to impress others. But the sad irony is that had he just driven the speed limit, he would have looked a lot cooler than he did totalling a $250,000 car.
Testing our motives
I have noticed that as I grow in my walk with God, He has helped me not to care as much about what other’s think. My assumption is that we will always have a longing for acceptance by our peers, but just like we teach our kids, our decisions shouldn’t be based on that. When I am making a purchase or any other decision, I have found that asking myself if it is to impress others or to please God is a normally a good test of my motives. For me that is usually an easy way to find the right answer.
What about you – how do you resist the temptation of seeking to impress others?
Excellent thoughts. I find that my husband and I make it a game. How much have we saved by not buying that? not doing that? It adds up so fast!
And… some of those people we might be tempted to impress are rather impressed with how well we live on his small salary. They have twice the income, but less in the bank than we do.
Amy, that is a great idea – I never thought about making a game out of it!!
lol… tightrolled jeans! I can relate!
I totally agree that the more I make God a priority in my life, the less I could care about what everyone else is thinking… or doing… or what the “next big thing” is…
Personally, I go through spurts of wanting to keep up with the Joneses and then being content with all the things that I’ve been blessed with. I know that materialism isn’t something my husband struggles with, but it is something I do struggle with. Sometimes I just want stuff(!), but then I try to remind myself about all the wonderful things we have because we were disciplined in our finances.
We’ve seen enough people in dire straits to realize that living below our means has made us quite comfortable. We talk about it at home all the time. It’s good to be open and vocal about your motives. We all fall into the ooh-I-want-to-impress-everyone syndrome, but having a spouse who’s on the same page with the same goals is incredibly helpful. Talking regularly about it just solidifies the goals.
Another good way to avoid materialism and impressing others through it is to remember all the riches we will have in heaven! Kind of makes earthly “riches” lose their appeal.
I love this post! I’ll be honest – I’m friends with a lot of “well off” people. We get by just fine – but not to the point where we can buy Pottery Barn curtains and BMWs. I’m really not a “I want to be fancy” type of person so that helps us not give into temptation. I just hope I can keep a level head when it comes to my kids – the older they get, the more they’ll start to say “But Little Jimmy has this and I want it.”