And speaking of not being an expert… I am definitely not one when it comes to marriage. Shane and I have been married for almost 10 years now, and while I love him, there are many times I do not like him. I’m quite sure that feeling is reciprocated many times, as well.
I certainly do not do everything right, but there are times when I can manage to be halfway nice.
Shane and I have an odd story, if I do say so myself. When we met, he was a deejay… he set up lights and played music at dances, receptions, and parties. Now, if you had asked me then if I thought he would be doing that job forever, I would have probably said no. But then again, I knew a few deejays who were older than him and still working the scene just fine.
In 2004, two weeks after our first daughter was born, Shane took over as interim youth pastor at our church.
Yep. A far cry from deejaying, huh? And then, he was made part-time youth pastor that October. And he continued to multi-task, being both deejay and youth pastor for two years until he called it quits.
As time in the youth ministry went on, I wore down. I remember when I was a teenager, looking at my pastor’s wife, seeing all of the responsibility on her shoulders, and thinking, “I NEVER want to be that woman.” Yet, here I was. Right where I said I never wanted to be.
After years of struggling to find my place, I think I have found it: my role is to be at home with my girls and a supportive wife to my husband. I do admit to still running the home “my” way, but as far as his job is concerned, I try to stay out of it and keep my opinions to myself. There has to be some middle ground, right?!
Shane and I have lived in the same town, but in four different places since we married.
First, we lived in a little, 2 bedroom house, where one of the bedrooms was his recording studio. Oh, did I forget to mention he also wrote and produced along with the deejaying? I was finishing up college and he also worked part-time for his parents at their jewelry store.
After we had been married a year, we discovered (surprise!) we were pregnant. Our landlady was amazing, and let us move down the street to a 3 bedroom house so Shane could keep his studio, and our child could have a nursery. I was an awesome wife and let him have the biggest bedroom for his studio.
A little bit later, after he began working at the church, we decided to quit deejaying. It was becoming really hard for him to balance the two, and with him starting seminary soon, he would not have time for it. Soooo… we moved into the 3 ROOM apartment in the youth building at church. A few months later, we were pregnant with baby #2. We lived there for seven months, when the church generously offered the parsonage as a new home.
So we have had bumps and bruises along the way, but many happy times as well. We are definitely blessed!