I mentioned recently in my Frugal Date Night post that my husband and I would be using a coupon at our favorite restaurant. Actually, my husband is a big fan of using coupons!
Reader Tosha emailed me this question, which I decided to share:
Hey Alyssa, That’s great you and your husband are gonna have a night out. You deserve it. Just wondering how you got your husband to be ok with using a coupon for dinner? My husband has not quite come around. He doesn’t mind if I’m shopping by myself or if he’s there he goes outside when I checkout.
His biggest complaint is I never buy things we can use. But I do buy things we can use like Tide, etc. I do pretty good with coupons and price matching but there’s always room for improvement. I never seem to see the extra money from all the saving I do. Any suggestions?
Excellent question, Tosha! I thought I would get the answer from my man himself. So here you go, a husband’s perspective on using coupons:
I used to be embarrassed by coupons. To me, coupons meant I could not afford to buy the items at regular price. What a blow to a man’s ego! Men don’t ask for directions or use coupons.
I will talk about three factors that contributed to my changed perception of coupons. First, not only did I see the savings on the receipts, but I began to see the difference in our bank account. I”m not talking about a couple of dollars, more like hundreds every month. Second, I started to study the habits of very successful people. Their messages are simple, the less you spend and the more you save the richer you will be. Isn’t this common sense? For example, Warren Buffet uses coupons at McDonalds. I don’t think he needs to. Third, it became fun over time go to the store and get weird looks from the cashier when my total amount due was pennies on the dollar, sometimes even $0.00.
It was not an overnight process for me but as our lives began to change from it for the better, so did I.
~Troy
I will add a few thoughts as well. In our marriage, our finances are a team effort. I am thankful that we share the same goals and views on money in our household. I know this is not the case for many couples. Part of what inspired this “team” mindset was actually Dave Ramsey. We often watch or listen to his show together before bed.
Dave stresses the importance of open communication about money within a marriage. He also advocates the use of coupons as a money-saving tool. But most of all, Dave inspired us to “live like no one else”.
Tosha, since your husband is not seeing the fruits of your labor, I suggest carefully tracking your savings with coupons. Be sure you are only using them on items that are on sale to see the biggest impact on your spending.
It does take some time to build a decent stockpile, and only then will you really see a difference in your pocket book. There are always coupons for items you need! Perhaps you can direct your husband to my Coupon Myths: Busted series. 🙂
Other recommended reading:
Christina recently wrote about a great post about the importance of merging finances in a marriage.
And for a great laugh, read this priceless post by Dana’s husband about how he married a couponaholic.
Readers, I would love to hear your thoughts as well! Do you have any words of wisdom for Tosha?
Aw that is so amazing that you have such a connection with your husband. It’s my dream to meet a great guy like that lol. I think finances can really ruin a relationship, but you seem to have gotten that burden out of the way. Congrats!
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve had the same question myself. My husband is strongly anti-coupon. If he’s running to the store, he’ll take a stack of coupons that I hand him – but he’s not willing to pipe up if the cashier makes a mistake.
That said, I do find that showing him my regular savings – 67% off, etc. – are slowly turning around his opinion. I do think it takes time – hang in there, Tosha!
One night when I was listening to Dave Ramsey with my husband, a caller gave an interesting perspective on money. She stated that she and her husband treated money like a football game. He was the offense and she was the defense. He went out and made the majority of the money and her job was to make as much of it stay in the house as she could. When my husband heard that he looked at me and said “that’s us!” I love the analogy because I think it’s something that most men can understand.
My husband is actually better with restaurant coupons than grocery coupons. He only uses grocery coupons when he’s with me but I can always get him to use restaurant coupons. The way he looks at it, all the money we save can go to other things, like the debt snowball and we don’t have to eat rice and beans to get there.
I would make sure you have a written budget so you know where all your money is going. As you get better with coupons, you’ll start to see that the budget you had for groceries and eating out will start to shrink and you’ll be able to free up that money for other things.
.-= Kristin @ klingtocash´s last blog ..Check me out on the CT Watchdog =-.
My husband was reluctant at first, asking the same thing “do we need it?” He’s come around since I sent him to Wags with coupons for Pull Ups and barely paid anything for them.
Alyssa gave you great advice!
The key is to combine coupons with rock-bottom prices and stockpile so that you don’t have to buy items above what you want to pay. It takes time, but the more you do it, the better you become at it. And the more savings you will see.
We are also Dave Ramsey people (less than a year left on BS2). I highly recommend reading through his site. His books are great, but you could find all of the info you need just on his site.
I am so lucky! My dear hubby finished off a box of cereal this morning, but he saved the couple inside for me! What a doll!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..I {HEART} FACES – week 38 =-.
Thank you everybody for your great advice. I have a pretty good size stockpile but he just doesn’t see the extra money in our bank account even if I show him the reciept from the store. He sees the saving there but it never seems like we have more money for other things. Like your husband said Alysssa he feels like if he uses a coupon its like saying I can’t afford it without one. The first of the month he wants me to start a log/record of everything we spend money on so we can see where to cut back. I’m soo stressed and tired from trying to explain or playing the defense like Kristin said. I don’t know if this all makes sense but I really do appreciate all the advice. Tosha
We are a Dave Ramsey family. We have been for ages. Currently we are in Baby Step 4 & 5. My husband will use coupons when I give them to him. Sometimes he will even ask before he buys something. He loves to see the deals, but he is not yet convinced that it “saves us money”. Mostly because since I am building up our stockpile we are still spending the same amount every month. I know that once I have built up a large enough stockpike of the necessities that we use I will be able to drastically cut our budgeted amount. Then he will see the difference.
.-= Gina ´s last blog ..A Bit About My Bitty =-.
I just love that your husband took the time to write this. I have to say my husband was not one to use coupons when we met. He would make fun of me when ever I wiped one out but I know that he actually liked it. He knew I was saving him money.
However recently I see him paying more attention to prices and coupons. He even saved $150 on his last trip to Home Depot by using a store coupon. I was so proud!
.-= Jennifer Billy´s last blog ..Free Coffee Plus Possible MoneyMaker =-.
My hubby loves coupons. Even helps me clip them. He wants NO PART of scouring the store for deals, though. 😉 Loves that I get the deals, but that is definitely MY thing.
.-= Amy @ Finer Things´s last blog ..Mommy, Come Home: What do You Say? =-.
My husband doesn’t mind coupons—in fact, he likes them—but the big source of disagreement with us is the stockpile. I just can’t seem to make him understand why it’s necessary to stockpile things. Any ideas on that one? I know if I didn’t stockpile we’d pay a lot more for the things we need.
.-= Andrea´s last blog ..Burger King and Wendy’s: Trick or Treat Coupon Booklets =-.
My husband has caught on to the coupons and stockpiling idea. He goes to the grocery store with me every week, helps me locate the items on my list, waits patiently as I check out, and then marvels at the bottom line numbers. I just wish I could discipline myself to transfer even half of what we save to a separate savings account. The savings are wonderful and we have quite a stockpile these days. It’s nice to know we could get away with only buying bread, milk and eggs for two or three weeks and still eat well out of our stockpile.
.-= Mary Martin´s last blog ..Nature Valley Granola Nut Clusters Giveaway =-.
My hubby thinks everything I do is kind of rediculous. He laughs at me when I go to specific restaurants because I have coupons. Well we wouldn’t be able to eat there if I didn’t have them. However, he lets me do it anyways. He FINALLY has understood the things I buy are on sale. They are things we might not regularly eat, but will eat. My problem with him is…he is a big eater. He can eat dinner and then later on eat a bowl of cereal and snacks. He’s not a big guy but my stockpile I’m still working on because things you think would last the average user a month, lasts us 2wks or even a week. I feel like I have a growing teenage boy on my hands.
.-= Nicolle B.´s last blog ..Get a FREE Tote & Coupons From Target =-.
This is how I look at it …
I think we all love to indulge ourselves once in a while. If I can do that my lighting a Glade candle that I got for free, or eating a snack cake that I paid pennies for … go me! :o) It keeps me from going out to eat, or from buying more expensive luxuries. So maybe we don’t “need” everything I buy … and I try not to be greedy and buy things that we won’t use and enjoy … but if I can stick to the budget and use my coupons to enhance our lives, and help other out as we go, I think I’m doing a great thing. My husband has seen this. He laughs at my piles of “stuff”, but I am never, ever telling him that I need more money or that we don’t have enough. He appreciates that I live frugally and happily, and that he comes home to fun treats! I also love the fact that since I buy my daughter little toys here and there on clearance, we don’t have to make a lot of big purchases to keep her happy and entertained.
Oh, and Tosha, I know keeping a record sounds very boring and time-consuming, but it works really well. It will help you learn really fast how much you usually pay for things, and if you come up with a system (like an Excel spreadsheet or a table in Word) and get organized, you’ll find that you can do it really fast.
He wants me to start keeping records of everything we spend. Ok I’m alittle overwhelmed and don’t really know where to start and how to do this. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Tosha
Tosha – I know, it seems overwhelming at first! That’s how I felt when my accountant husband and I started working on our finances together! I have several ideas that might help you – if you’d like to e-mail me, I’d be happy to try to help you get organized! :o) kimberlyc at provo dot edu. Hope to hear from you!