Written by contributing writer Sarah Dees
We’re fairly frugal at our house. We decided early on that we did not want to encourage materialism in our kids by buying them a lot of stuff, and our families do a great job of not overloading the boys with gifts on the holidays. The boys do not expect us to buy them a new toy “just because,” although we do occasionally buy things just for fun. They also know (although their begging sometimes suggests otherwise) that they are not guaranteed a kid’s meal with a toy every time we eat out.
Despite our frugality, however, we have noticed an interesting phenomenon…
Our kids are often still obsessed with “stuff.” Their money burns a hole in their pockets as soon as they get it. They fight over fast food trinkets. They manipulate each other to try to trade for the best fast food trinket if more than one type shows up on our tray.
Take the little ball in this picture, for example. Gresham (age 4) got it as a prize at the dentist yesterday. When I insisted that he give Owen (age 1) a turn with it, he went absolutely bonkers and threw a whopper of a temper tantrum. That ball (small as it was) was so important to him that he was absolutely unwilling to share it.
The ball incident reminded me that whether children have many possessions or few, the issue that matters to God is what is in the heart. We can have little, and still be guilty of greed.
Colossians 3:5 says to “consider the members of your earthly body as dead to… greed, which amounts to idolatry.”
When do possessions become idols? They are idols if they are more important to us than pleasing the Lord. They are idols if we are willing to sin to get them/keep them.
What are parents to do when confronted with greedy and materialistic behavior?
Scripture often encourages us to “put off” sinful attitudes and actions and “put on” godly attitudes and actions to replace them (see Colossians chapter 3). It’s not enough to tell our children to stop acting selfishly. We need to show them how to “put on” the attitude that is the opposite of greed: giving.
How do you encourage the Godly attitudes about money in your home?
About Sarah Dees
Sarah is a Christian mom of three sons who shares inexpensive ways to keep boys busy at Frugal Fun for Boys. She features activities, homeschooling tips, and thoughts on teaching boys God’s Word. You can connect with her on Twitter and Facebook.
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Great post Sarah! Oh and Alyssa, you have gotten me hooked on the bucks back items at CVS. 😉
It seems natural that children will want *things*, not really materialistic. They are children, they haven’t developed a sense of thrift that is necessary for many adults.
As long as they always put their priorities in order, I would not push this too much or make them feel bad for it…they are sweet little bunchkins 🙂
Penelope
PS This was my first visit here, and I’m already in love with this site.
Penelope´s last blog post ..My Men Are My Valentines
Thank you for a great site! We have piggy banks that we have given to each of our kids and they love the idea of saving up and then buying something special after a few months of saving. We also have a goal chart which the kids write down their goal – what they would like to buy or a place they would like to visit – and then they save until they have enough money to fulfill their goal.
@Kim Diamond, A goal chart is a great idea! Putting goals in writing makes them more achievable, I think. Thanks so much for commenting!
Thanks for sharing! It’s so vital to teach our kids about our first love and who our provider really is!
Have you read the book Marketplace Christianity? There’s a chapter on money in general and it talks about wanting things for free versus understanding how wealth is created – it really blew my mind! I highly recommend it.
@Stacy, I totally agree! So important for them to see God as provider!
Sarah Dees´s last blog post ..Make Your Boys into Superheroes!
We encourage our children to give on a regular basis and to be thankful for all that we have. If we can instill being a giver as a young person it will more than likely continue into adulthood and I would to see the next generation be big givers. I allow our kids to give away their toys (with my approval) and books to encourage their giving, it makes them happy to see the joy on someone else face.
http://www.savingwithaplan.com
Emily Freelove´s last blog post ..8 For a 20 e-Gift Card to Spend on Wholesale Items
We allow our kids to have a few (three, max) special things that may change day to day. If a sibling wants to use that special thing, the owner may say “No, not right now. This is my special thing right now. You can use this other thing instead. Thank you for understanding.” Everything else, though, can and must be shared. It works pretty well. Sometimes the 2 y/o has some proprietary issues, but overall, they’ve gotten the idea that our home is more of a commune than a diplomacy. 🙂
Gaby´s last blog post ..Make Love- not Debt- This Valentines Day
@Gaby, That’s a good idea. We have also worked with our kids on understanding that it is rude to ask for a toy that someone else is obviously enjoying – they should wait until that person is done using it. We still have a ways to go, but they’re young still!
Sarah Dees´s last blog post ..Make Your Boys into Superheroes!
We teach our kids lessons on opportunity cost. If I choose this, then I will not get that, and that is the cost. Also, we teach them to bless others with what they have been given. We teach them to think outside of themselves, beyond what they can do for themselves with “their” money. We model giving. We model budgeting, and we model making wise choices with our money.