Has your husband ever irritated you?
Unless he is perfect, I’m sure at one time or another, something he has said and/or done has caused you irritation.
How do you react when his actions irritate you? Do you become angry? Loud? Roll your eyes?
It is awfully hard to ignore actions that are irritating. After all, when something irritates you, it hits on a nerve, is something that causes you embarrassment, or is a huge pet peeve for you.
According to The Free Dictionary.com, the definition of irritate (irritating) is:
:: To rouse to impatience or anger; to annoy
:: To chafe or inflame
:: To be a cause of impatience or anger
So, as godly wives, how do we combat these feelings of irritation? How do we show patience when our husband says or does something that annoys us?
:: First, we must think before we speak (or roll our eyes!). If we can take a step back and process the situation, we can stop harsh words from coming out of our mouths.
:: Second, we need to decide if it is worth condemning or putting down our husband. What will come of this if we choose to continue with angry words? Pretty much 100 percent of the time, it is NOT worth it.
:: Third, we need to find something nice to say, or just not say anything. As hard as this is, keeping quiet can literally keep the peace. (And believe me, I have literally made my tongue bleed keeping my words inside!)
Okay wives. Seriously. It is SO incredibly HARD for me to keep my mouth shut when someone annoys me. I seriously cannot stand annoying or irritating people and behavior.
So what about when our actions are seemingly justified? What about when our husband really does something irritating, and a reaction to it would seem perfectly normal [by the world’s standards]? Are there really times it is okay to lash out at our husband?
No. There is not a time when it is okay to combat irritating behavior with irritating behavior of our own.
And, believe me ladies, there are many, MANY times I have chosen to be impatient and angry with my husband when he has irritated me. There is not one time that has ended with a win for me. Both of us lose.
I know it is hard, especially when our husband is annoying about something that means a lot to us. It can even be hurtful. But, if we really take a step back and ask ourselves, “What is he really saying/doing?” and, “Why is he saying/doing this?”
In taking a step back, we can analyze the situation for what it really is, and not base our reaction on the immediate response of our heart.
In the spirit of full disclosure, I am not perfect. I have not yet ridden myself of an impatient reaction to an irritating action. In fact, I answered his irritating behavior with impatience a few times this last week. As I said before, neither of us won; I certainly did not, even though I felt – at the time – my actions and feelings were justified.
What can you do this week to love your husband, in spite of any irritating behavior he might display?
Design by: Amy Loves It! *Photo by: captg*
C. Beth says
Great post! This week I can be supportive of my husband as a parent, and encourage him in that role.
.-= C. Beth´s last blog ..Today’s Writing Prompt: Scream =-.
JDaniel4's Mom says
I have an award for you over at The JDaniel4’s Mom. Here’s a direct link: http://www.jdaniel4smom.com/2009/10/i-was-just-awarded-best-blog-award-from.html Hope you’ll stop by and pick it up.
Amy, thank you for this. I needed it desperately today. It’s an area that I struggle in, but I want to get better. So thank you for putting this into perspective for me. You are so right. When I react wrongly, it’s ALWAYS a lose, lose situation. Always. Thanks girl!
.-= Myra´s last blog ..Jesus Only… =-.
What do I do when my husband is very impatient with me all the time for no apparent reason? I feel like annoy him all the time. My boys can also treat me like that sometimes too. I guess they learned it from him. I have tried many times to talk to him and he says he knows he does this and will try to do better. It lasts about 2-3 weeks and then he starts up again. I am so hurt by his behavior and feel beaten down and very unloved although he is a very thoughtful, generous and loving man.