Loving Your Husband: How to Be His Encourager

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I cannot tell you how often I stink at being my husband’s encourager! Whether I am upset with something he has or has not done, or I am preoccupied with something going on in my life, many days encouragement from me is a no-show.


Words of affirmation are one of the 5 Love Languages, and for my husband, encouraging words rank right up there with sex and physical touch. {In case you were wondering, the primary “love language” need of most men is physical touch/sex.}

My husband does not have a big ego, but he has told me so many times how much it means to hear me brag on him and send him words of love and encouragement.

Those words are HUGE for our marriage, his self-worth and how he sees himself, and even ME.

Encouraging my husband can lead to good things for me {even though that is not why I try to be an encourager}.

The top 5 ways to begin encouraging:

1. Start with a smile. {Sometimes, this is the hardest part for me!}

2. Stick a nice note or card in his lunch or briefcase where he won’t find it until later. {This can be as simple as, “I love you, and I hope you have a wonderful day.”}

3. Surprise him with his favorite meal or dessert, simply because you were thinking of him. {You know how I love to cook…}

4. Pray for him. It’s always easier to be nice if you remember your husband in prayer.

5. Thank him. Even if all he does is take out the garbage, thank him for it.

Now, ladies, I am not leaving you out of this. I realize that whether you work at home or work outside the home, words of encouragement and affirmation are most likely at the top of your list, too. But I firmly believe that one of the best ways to receive something is to give it first.

Let’s all work on being encouragers to our husbands this week. You never know what kind of fruit you will see.

What can you do this week to be an encourager to your husband?

photo credit: birlewphotography via photopin cc


  1. says

    This is an awesome post! I also struggle in the area of being an encourager. I tend to get caught up in my own little world sometimes and take my hubby for granted. I’m going to pray for an improvement in my attitude. Thanks!

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